He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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