Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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