Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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