You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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