She's JV to your varsity
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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