Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
