after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
