i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
