OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
