I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
