Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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