Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
