when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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