Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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