He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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