i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
