pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
