69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
