There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
