I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Rumble strips road head = magical
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
