Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
