Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
did you just send me my own nude
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
