I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
