it wasn't lemon gatorade
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
