She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Come share oat with me in your robe
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
