Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
