You just made me feel so damn special
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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