First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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