lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
