ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
