Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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