Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
