We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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