I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
