I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
