that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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