new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
