Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
