Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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