I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
