woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I FOUND THE LEGS
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
