is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
