Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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