Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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