At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
