the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
