Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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