wanna go halves on a baby?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
