im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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