Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
